


Strangled Love

by Mazen



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Beast Island (She-Ra), Canon Rewrite, Different characters' POV, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hordak goes to Bright Moon, Hurt/Comfort, Scorpia (She-Ra) is a Good Friend, changed title, for real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:09:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28760094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mazen/pseuds/Mazen
Summary: When Scorpia makes Hordak doubt that Entrapta has truly betrayed him, he goes in search of the truth and finds much more than anyone expected.Previously called You Hold My Love by the Throat.
Relationships: Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra)
Comments: 80
Kudos: 196





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been in my mind ever since I saw Scorpia help Catra by sending Entrapta to Beast Island. And then all of S4...  
> They all deserved better than that. 
> 
> Thank you to the peeps on Discord, especially Alexology and Kuurankaiho, who have listened to my ideas and given me more.

Scorpia felt guilty. Every second of the day. She’d betrayed her friend to protect another friend. Catra had tased Entrapta in the back and ordered Scorpia to send the sweet little princess to Beast Island, the most deadly place on Etheria. It was a death sentence and while Catra had taken the role as the unjust magistrate, Scorpia had been the executioner.

She knew Catra was wrong and yet, she did nothing to stop her. The truth was that even though she loved Catra dearly, she also feared her because of her unpredictability and menace. Entrapta was unpredictable too, but treated others with kindness, a quality Catra didn’t possess no matter how much Scorpia showered her with affection.

She was no fool; she knew Catra had no feelings for her and likely never would. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop Scorpia’s heart from loving her Wild Cat against all reason. Love wasn’t always rational, she remembered reading in one of her romance novels.

Two months passed with constant guilt and remorse after sending Entrapta on the transport to Beast Island. While orders were delivered by Catra, Lord Hordak’s second in command, to set up more security measures and advance their attack towards Bright Moon, their fearsome leader had barely shown himself after the portal incident. According to Catra, he had been busy rebuilding his sanctum which was destroyed by the portal explosion and he was currently working on advanced weaponry.

Scorpia wondered how any of them were still alive after having sent Entrapta to her death. The little scientist had confided in her that she felt a deep emotional connection to the warlord and Scorpia had seen plenty of signs that Entrapta’s feelings were reciprocated. Obviously, Catra must’ve told him a lie to avoid the same fate as Entrapta, but Scorpia wasn’t sure what. She hadn’t been on good speaking terms with Catra since the incident of which they never spoke.

Being in the presence of Lord Hordak had always been nerve-racking to her, but she’d never felt as frightened as the day she had to face him alone after following Catra’s terrible order to get rid of Entrapta. Would he be able to tell that she was hiding something? He had rarely looked at her for more than a few seconds unless he was berating her, but it always felt as though he was reading her thoughts. It was ridiculous; he couldn’t do that. Could he? He was a real alien after all, the only one of his kind.

Today, she had no choice but to go to him. Catra was out on recon with several other Force Captains and Scorpia needed access to their security room where video feeds from the new cameras ended up. No one else but Catra and Hordak had the ability to grant access, except Entrapta when she was here. Although she’d likely just bypassed the security measures.

Boy, it would be good to have Entrapta back again. If Scorpia had been less of a coward, she would’ve gone to Beast Island to bring her back where she belonged. But Beast Island terrified her more than Catra and Hordak combined. Shadow Weaver had told them many stories about the island that consumed you, body and soul; it was the one place no one came back from. Both sides in the war had used the island as the ultimate punishment, dropping their prisoners and traitors off without looking back. Just as she had done to Entrapta who had done nothing wrong but come between Catra and her mission to destroy the princesses.

It took Scorpia until noon to gather the courage to enter Hordak’s sanctum. It was shocking to see how damaged it still was, as if he hadn’t been rebuilding anything at all. She supposed that these things took time and she hadn’t been through his whole lab to see all the repairs he could’ve been making. It was none of her business anyway.

It was harder than expected to find the large warlord as she looked between the rubble with shattered beams, scraps of metal and tanks tumbled over with nightmarish creatures inside them. When she finally found him, he was sitting with his back to the room in a crook near his inner sanctum where no one was allowed. There was no sign that he heard her approach, despite her less than flawless record of trying to be stealthy. As she came closer, she was about to announce her presence when she noticed that he was staring at something familiar in his huge paw… a crystal.

It was a First Ones’ crystal, the color of light lavender, but it sometimes shimmered to match Entrapta’s purple hair or even her magenta eyes. Although that might be Scorpia’s imagination. It powered his armor, Entrapta had once told her, but most of its significance lay in the inscription engraved on it. Scorpia didn’t know what it said, but it had been obvious that the crystal was important to both lab partners, as Entrapta had lovingly called them.

Hordak’s posture was so unlike him that Scorpia almost staggered. This wasn’t the dreadful lord of the Fright Zone she knew; this was a broken man. He missed Entrapta more than she’d ever expected. Perhaps he even lov-... No, he _definitely_ loved her.

  
  


She didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to her before. Of course he loved her. How often had she seen him share his mighty throne with Entrapta? Or the many times she’d interrupted him without feeling the weight of his anger or the way she’d talked him out of sending Catra to Beast Island? The countless hours of listening to her, just the two of them in the sanctum… He was in love with Entrapta. And he’d never gotten to tell her.

Scorpia knew a lot about love. Sure, most of it was from her romance novels, but she also knew what it was like to love unconditionally and never be loved in return: it sucked. She believed in the power of love, but sometimes the notion felt absurd. She had never known anyone who truly loved each other, who had a chance at happiness.

Until now. Hordak and Entrapta - the frightening warlord and the strange tech princess - obviously loved each other deeply; it was so clear to her now. And that could restore her belief in love. It might even convince her that she could find that kind of love with someone.

She hadn’t thought that she could feel worse about sending Entrapta to her death, but now she did. It wasn’t just Entrapta she’d hurt; it was Hordak as well and even though she feared him, she didn’t think he was a bad guy. He deserved love too.

It would be stupid to tell him the truth about Entrapta’s fate, putting herself and Catra in immediate danger, but maybe she could send him on the right path. If anyone could survive Beast Island for a few months, it would be Entrapta. Maybe he could save her before it was too late.

Of course, that meant she had to talk to him. She also had to find out what Catra had told him about Entrapta’s disappearance. Since Catra wouldn’t discuss the matter, he was the only one who knew.

“Lord Hordak.” Her voice sounded almost confident. Luckily, he was used to having people be scared of him; her demeanor would be nothing out of the ordinary. The fearsome leader instantly straightened his back and she saw his hand with the crystal lift to his throat right before he rose from his seat. “Sir, I need access to the security room for the newest video feeds.”

She stepped back when he turned around, those terrifying pupil-less eyes staring at her with an impenetrable scrutiny that made her shrink, despite her own significant height. He held an air around him that demanded respect. How Entrapta had ever gotten through to him and found the gentle being she’d claimed was inside, was beyond Scorpia.

Then again… Wasn’t she trying to do exactly that with Catra?

“I’ll grant you permanent access, Force Captain.” He replied and strode past her, not giving away that he had been mourning the loss of Entrapta a moment ago. Scorpia wished that she sometimes could hide her feelings so well, but they always bubbled to the surface. Maybe it was the lack of hugs she had received as a child when her mothers died; she was making up for them now.

“Will that be all?” Hordak’s stern voice interrupted her thoughts and she jumped a little, realizing that she’d just been standing there without showing the proper appreciation or even acknowledging his reply.

“Yes sir!” She was too quick to answer, then remembered Entrapta. “Well, no sir, I mean to talk to you about, uhm, Entrapta.” It was impossible to ignore how his long clawed fingers flexed and folded into white-knuckled fists at the mention of her name.

His lips pulled back in a sneer that let Scorpia see the sharp, glowing red fangs. He was a predator, her instincts told her, she should run. But she stood her ground, somehow knowing that he wouldn’t hurt her if she had something to say about their mutual friend. “What about her?” He growled, the rumble echoing around them.

She couldn’t tell him what she knew. Her only option was to play clueless, something she was actually pretty good at. “I was wondering if you knew where she, uhm, is? Because I miss her and it’s been a long time since I saw her. Did something happen to her when the porta- I mean when the princesses were here?” The fact that a portal had been the cause of the incident in Hordak’s sanctum was a secret, although the whole Horde knew it. But she couldn’t tell him that.

Hordak turned away from her in a dramatic movement and grabbed a piece of scrap metal which he threw into a wall. No, _through_ a hard steel wall. Scorpia gulped at the frightening display of his strength. “The _Princess_ of Dryl,” he said with vehemence, his breathing so hard that his shoulders noticeably shook with each breath, “has betrayed the Horde. _She_ was responsible for letting the rebels into the Fright Zone and she left with them.”

Oh. That’s what Catra had told him. That Entrapta of all people would help the princesses and go back to them. The ruse was as brilliant as Catra was and it scared Scorpia how good her Wild Cat was at manipulating those around her. But she still wondered why Hordak would believe the lie. Entrapta was so happy in the Fright Zone, especially working with him. Why would she want to go back to the princesses?

Then it hit her: she could use this to question Catra’s explanation without implying that she had been deceptive. Sure, the truth would come out at some point, but they could flee. Together. Her and Catra. They could survive and even live well in the Crimson Waste, just the two of them. It wouldn’t be possible to find them.

“I beg your forgiveness for saying this, my Lord, but Entrapta wouldn’t do that.” Hordak turned towards her again with a furious expression on his face. She had to hurry to say what she wanted to and hopefully calm the literal beast in front of her. “She was loyal to the Horde, sir, the Rebellion must’ve tricked her and kidnapped her. Please, my Lord, I know my friend. She wouldn’t do this.”

She’d closed her eyes and slowly backed away from the warlord without noticing it, but suddenly the feeling of terror abated. When she opened her eyes, she saw Hordak stare with surprisingly mild eyes to the side, touching the crystal at his throat. The hand flew to his side when he noticed her looking. “Are you very certain about this, Force Captain? It isn’t what I was informed of.”

“Ye-yes sir, I’m positive. Catra probably drew the wrong conclusion without knowing the whole truth.” Scorpia hoped he wouldn’t punish Catra for that and in a desperate attempt to distract him from his second-in-command who had a tendency to lie, she hurried to deliver the final blow to her tale. “The Rebellion might even have sent her to Beast Island.”

His fists clenched, but he scoffed. “Do not be ridiculous; she is far too valuable an asset for that.” She dared to look at his face, nervous that he was seeing through her deception, but the expression on his face was impossible to interpret as anything other than hope.

In an instant he was on a move, making Scorpia practically leap to the side, as he walked up to a workbench further into the sanctum. He reached for a large object on the table that looked like a weapon and began to strap it onto his right arm on top of his usual armor.

"Force Captain Scorpia, I'm putting you in charge of the Fright Zone until I or my Force Commander Catra returns." He swiftly strode past her again, grabbing his cloak on the way towards the exit. She began to jog after him.

“Where are you heading, Lord Hordak?”

“Bright Moon.” He replied in a menacing voice that made her shiver. “And I’ll be bringing back Princess Entrapta. One way or the other.” She'd never heard anything sound so much like a threat before.

Catra would not be thrilled about this. She was busy advancing the Horde's territory and without Hordak, no one would listen to her. Then again, she wouldn’t be able to stay with the Horde anyway when the truth about Entrapta’s whereabouts was revealed.

Scorpia supposed she’d done the best she could. If Entrapta was alive - how she hoped this was the case - and Hordak rescued her, then there was no reason for her to feel guilty anymore. Catra would be angry at her, but only if she knew that Scorpia was the one who had given Hordak cause to go to Bright Moon. She wasn’t good at lying, but maybe she could keep it simple: Hordak has left to confront the princesses at Bright Moon. Why? Because of Entrapta. Then he would learn that she never betrayed him which is why Catra and Scorpia had to flee to the Crimson Waste.

She’d done the right thing, she was sure of it. For the first time in months, her conscience felt a little lighter as she went to the communication center to contact her Wild Cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene of Scorpia seeing Hordak staring at the crystal was heavily influenced by [Alexology](https://alexology.art)'s art ['Sorrow'](https://alexology.art/post/634248202541056000/sorrow-new-technique-with-watercolor-brushes-the), a powerful depiction that shows the depth of Hordak's pain.
> 
> I encourage everyone to show their appreciation to Alexology, along with other artists and writers. who help to keep this ship alive. Just like you all do by reading, giving kudos and commenting in the most splendid ways! Thank you for that!


	2. Chapter 2

All he could hear was a buzz in his head as he left his sanctum. His brain registered Force Captain Cobalt who spoke to him and the salutes of soldiers he passed as one might take notice of a tree on your way, but none of them made any lasting impression on him. Had any of them blocked his path towards the transportation bay, he would have crushed them without breaking his stride.

He was going to see her. It wouldn’t be a pathetic attempt to win her back if she was there against her will, but a warlord taking back his most valued scientist. Even if Scorpia was wrong, if Entrapta really had betrayed him, at least he would see her. He would know why she had left him, deemed his offerings worthless to her compared to what the princesses had.

However… if she had truly been kidnapped, his lack of action to get her back meant that he had failed her. He hadn’t trusted her loyalty enough to question her disappearance, that it might’ve been against her will. Hadn’t she talked about him staying on Etheria with hope in her voice just before Catra had brought the sword needed for the portal? He thought he had seen something in her eyes, something that had him feel warmer than Prime’s Light ever had.

It was blasphemy to consider the thought that a simple Etherian could outshine the brilliance of Prime’s Light, but Entrapta wasn’t a simple person. Everyone could see that. She would even be worth more to Horde Prime than the whole backwater planet would.

That fact alone was exactly why he doubted that Entrapta had gone with the princesses against her will. She was a force to be reckoned with and clever enough to escape those youngsters who supposedly led the Rebellion, even with their magic taken into account. No, she must have a reason to stay there. Clearly, she had been unhappy with him.

Despite the logic that spoke against Scorpia’s presumption that she’d been kidnapped, he rushed to the Horde’s newest skiff which Entrapta had modified to such an extent that it traveled at double speed. It was the fastest way to get to Bright Moon, to see her, but his pride stopped him from starting the engine. It would be pitiful to use one of her achievements for this if she was in fact a deserter.

Pride was only allowed to be felt by the Regent of the Seven Skies, but Hordak felt it in him when he chose the largest skiff they had instead of the faster one. This, at least, showed off the magnificent insignia of the Horde on each side, so it could be seen from afar. It was well supplied with weapons as well which might be necessary if Entrapta had already built a deadly army of robots like he knew she was capable of.

He had the element of surprise on his side. They wouldn’t expect the horrendous Lord of the Fright Zone to show up on his own for his most prized scientist. It would make them fret over how assured he was of his ability to defeat them that he dared to arrive alone.

Entrapta would see his bravery and know her importance to him. If she was with the Rebellion against her will, she would be happy to be saved by the warlord in person. If she’d chosen to be there, well, then he could show her how formidable he was without her.

He would not reveal how broken he’d felt after she’d left, how lost he’d been. Every time he removed his armor - less and less these days - he would keep the crystal locked in the palm of his hand, a reminder of her existence in spite of the pain it caused him to know that she was gone.

Was there any chance of getting her back, he wouldn’t let it pass by.

He missed her deeply, unfathomably, senselessly, terribly. Every second of every day. His sanctum was so quiet without her and he hadn’t been able to repair the damage yet in fear that it would make her absence more apparent.

So many hours had he spent by her side without revealing how much she’d come to mean to him. Would it have made a difference? His thoughts kept drifting to images of Entrapta in his arms, her lips upon his. It was wrong, she was just his friend. At least that's what he'd believed. But during the months in his lab, an increasing tension had risen between them as they grew closer, a longing that never found a release.

Now he felt on edge constantly as he thought about the things unsaid between them. He would like to believe that he would have been much more bold if he'd known how little time they had, but he didn't. He was a coward, a failure, and that’s why she’d left him.

She’d made him feel like more than a defective clone trying to prove his worth to his God as he attempted to return to Him; he’d felt like his own person. That had been his downfall, the belief that he could be anything more than the servant he was created to be.

Yet he needed just one more moment to bask in her presence and the finality in hearing her say that she’d left him willingly. He knew why, but Scorpia had planted the seed of doubt - of hope - in him and he knew that he would be consumed with it until he was certain.

* * *

It did not take him long to reach Bright Moon. Although the Whispering Woods had rumors of being traitorous and ever-changing, he flew through it without any issues arising as though it knew his mission was a peaceful one. He had no intention of attacking anyone; for once his goal was only to mediate with the princesses to allow him to see Entrapta.

He bore no white flag to wave as he easily passed the border into the kingdom; there was no surrender, only a temporary truce. If the princesses had come to the Fright Zone with such a request as his, he would accept. Hopefully, they offered the same courtesy.

Not surprisingly, he found it easy to fly into the city and nearly up to the castle. He noted that he had to review what obstacles his troops had since they hadn’t taken Bright Moon yet; there was a serious lack of defenses.

He reached the castle grounds with the large spire to the left where the Moon Stone was. He had slowed down his vehicle when a glowing, tall figure appeared out of nowhere in a fog of pinkish sparkling at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the castle. It was probably the newly crowned Queen of Bright Moon’s magic that teleported She-Ra to the spot. The skiff stopped right before the golden princess with the raised sword who didn’t flinch at the close proximity to his vehicle. Bold, he thought to himself, even with magic to protect her.

Her surprise was palpable when he, the Plague upon Etheria, was the one to step out of the enemy vehicle. She didn’t even try to look intimidating, but stared at him with a gaping mouth, except for the sword held expertly in her hands. He was to some degree proud that she had been trained in the Horde, despite not remembering her much. Shadow Weaver had mentioned her and recommended her as Force Captain right before she’d deserted. Not that it mattered greatly to him. They would win in the end.

Quite a crowd had gathered around them, though at a distance. Townspeople were hiding behind their little houses, though within hearing range, while princesses stood above everyone else on the top of the castle stairs; far from the people they were supposed to protect. He was severely disappointed that Entrapta wasn’t present, but it gave him a small hope that she might actually be kept there against her will. He recognized the Queen who had teleported herself up there, the Princess of Salineas, the flowery one and… he held back a hiss when he spotted the moving shadow of his former second-in-command. She’d been there at the portal incident as well.

To think that the princesses were foolish enough to trust Shadow Weaver. Alhough she’d worked for him, he’d always known to keep her at an arm’s length, ready to dispose of her if needed. It had been sloppy of Catra to let the sorceress escape. But it might become his gain later on. The princesses were not clever enough to see through Shadow Weaver’s manipulation. One day she would betray them to obtain the magic she lived off on.

“Lord Hordak, why are you here?” The She-Ra’s voice was confident and he rewarded her with his complete attention. To his disappointment she seemed to shrink a little when he made eye contact. He knew he looked frightening; it was his goal. King Scorpio had given him advice to make him more intimidating to the Etherian people - the dark makeup and impressive armor - which the Scorpion people had used for centuries to scare intruders away. It made him vain, a mortal sin in the Imperial Horde, but he did what was necessary to conquer Etheria in Lord Prime’s name.

He spoke loudly and assertively as he replied to the feeble princess who had no idea how vulnerable he’d been since their last meeting. But he suddenly felt powerful, surrounded by the subdued citizens and princesses. “I’ve come to offer a temporary truce.” A gasp left the royalty on top of the stairs. “I seek a peaceful audience with the monarch of Bright Moon, Queen Glimmer, who I believe is leading the Rebellion.”

“Uhm…” She-Ra lowered her sword slightly, a silly mistake, though one he wouldn’t take advantage of this time. She looked up to the princesses in question. “Can he do that?” He rolled his eyes as the girl excused herself for a moment to run up to the others who were already arguing.

He caught a few words here and there with his keen sense of hearing, despite being uninterested in listening to the unimportant chattering about the rules of war until he heard the voice of Shadow Weaver. “Hordak will keep his word. He obviously wants something from us; this gives us an advantage, my Majesty.” The inexperienced Queen took advice from her former enemy. How… quint.

“Very well.” She said, then silenced the others before lowering her voice. “Adora, will you follow him up here?” She murmured and like a good little puppy, the She-Ra ran down the stairs and stood just to the side of him, eyeing him closely with curiosity. “Lord Hordak, you may approach.” The Queen spoke out loud so everyone could hear her.

All eyes were on him as he gracefully ascended the stairs with dignity, something the citizens probably weren’t used to seeing these days. Queen Angella had certainly had dignity, but now that she was gone, there were only children left who still hadn’t learned much of the world. Perhaps Catra was right; they could win this war before Prime arrived.

At the wide entrance to the castle it was possible to look inside where more princesses were gathered. Apparently, they stayed here instead of in their own kingdoms which he found very interesting, but he couldn’t ignore feeling discontent when he saw that Entrapta wasn't present. Maybe she was hiding in the rafters or the vents?

“Welcome to Bright Moon, Lord Hordak. I expect you to honor your promise of a truce during your stay here.” He looked down at the small Queen before him, almost as tiny as Entrapta. She seemed fond of the same color scheme as well, although it was more pastel. But Entrapta’s clothes had been chosen for their functionality and comfort; she didn’t care about style as this young woman obviously did.

“I stay true to my word. I respect the rules of war and I trust that you do as well.” The Queen nodded, not allowing him to stare her down. He liked that. There was something in her he recognized, made him feel sympathetic to her. Loss. They’re both experienced a deep loss several times, but some of it recently. She desperately missed her mother. “You have to give us something belonging to you to show good faith. You will get it back before we part.”

Hordak knew this was a very common custom and it was the reason he’d brought the arm cannon. It was functional, yes, but still a prototype. Since it was a weapon, the princesses would want him to offer that, giving no notice to the fact that he was wearing armor that could be dangerous. He couldn’t risk that they wanted him to remove that. He knew there was a risk that Entrapta had told them how deformed he was beneath the metal, but something in him trusted, in spite of everything, that she would keep that secret between them.

He unstrapped the heavy, powerful cannon from his arm and offered it to the Queen who pulled She-Ra over to take it; a fairly wise decision as the weight of the weapon might prove too much for anyone else. But before she’d taken the cannon, Shadow Weaver stepped forward to stand on the other side of the Queen.

“What about the crystal? I sense that it has value.” The terrible woman gestured to the First Ones’ crystal at his throat. He didn’t flinch, although he felt terror creep under his skin at its mention. The memory of Catra taking the crystal - the fear that she might crush the thing that not just served as the only viable power source to his exceptional armor, but also was his last link to Entrapta - was still fresh in his mind. He’d crawled on his hands and knees to get it, not because he couldn’t have gathered strength enough for a moment to grab it from her, but because he’d been scared that she would destroy it before he got to her. He might have been able to replace the power source. But its connection to Entrapta was priceful.

“This decorative thing?” A talon dragged over the glass, creating an ear-splitting sound that made everyone else but he and Shadow Weaver flinch. “By all means, if you prefer this to the weapon…” He shrugged nonchalantly, acting considerably more smug than he felt at the risk of having to give away the only thing that kept him upright, both physically and mentally. But he knew his strategy would work.

“No no, we’re taking that arm cannon,” a boy with arrows on his back interjected. “Hand it over, Batlord.” Hordak raised an eyebrow in response to the childish nickname, but let it slide. Soon enough, they could get to the point. She-Ra took his offering and they headed inside.

The young princess from the Kingdom of Snows was waiting with two other princesses that he barely knew. He’d fought them in battle once, years ago, but had given very little thought to them.

"Can't we just, like, beat him up? Or arrest him. Then boom, no more Horde, right?" The child spoke with more excitement than he would’ve expected from a little girl. She conquered up a large bulk of ice on her hand shaped like a fist. He couldn’t help but raise an impressed eyebrow.

"That's not how we do it, Frosta. We have to honor our word. Otherwise we're no better than them." One of the older princesses whispered as he walked past them with the Queen and her little entourage.

"But we _are_ better than them. We're the good guys." The girl replied with a pout. Sometimes he envied children for viewing the world so black and white. He’d been like that as well until he landed on this Prime-forsaken planet and was forced to see other colors.

He was led to a throne room so unlike his own that he could barely believe anyone could live like this. Those soft, almost white and glimmering lavender and pinkish colors hurt his eyes. There was nothing about him who fitted in here, although he could see Prime enjoying the minimalistic color scheme however frilly it was.

Instead of taking the throne, the Queen approached a shimmering table with room for seating thirty people. She gestured to the end of the table for him to take a seat while the rest of them sat down on each side of him as though they attempted to corner him. Right next to him was She-Ra on one side, followed by the mermaid princess and the one from Plumeria. Queen Glimmer sat down on the other with Shadow Weaver right next to her and the archer who looked quite uneasy.

The Queen was clearly relying on the sorceress’ advice. Foolish girl. She didn't know how dangerous the woman could be and he almost felt sorry for her.

While he took a notice of the seating arrangements, his line of sight was mostly focused on the doors to the room until they closed with guards on each side. A strange mix of dismay and elation seized him as he scouted the rafters without any sight of his princess; he deeply yearned to see her, but the lack of appearance from her suggested that she might truly be here against her will.

If that really was the case, then he had to free her. The easiest way was to mediate, although he didn’t have anything to offer in return for Entrapta; nothing was worth that much. An attack directly against Bright Moon would be the most logical solution, but not the most efficient. An infiltration then, he figured.

The Queen cleared her throat and he hurried to lower his gaze to the people at the table who were staring at him with apprehension. It seemed that he’d been lost in his thoughts amongst his enemies; it proved to them how little he feared them, although the truth was that his mind was in a different place.

“My Majesty, as the Queen, I suggest you act as moderator in this conversation.” Shadow Weaver spoke low into Queen Glimmer’s ear, but her eyes deep set behind the mask were focused on him. She was well aware how good his hearing was, having been caught many times through the years. The woman knew how to take advantage of the grief the Queen felt after losing her mother. He wondered briefly what Queen Angella would have thought about Shadow Weaver walking around freely.

He realized then that he had the perfect thing to offer the Queen in exchange for Entrapta: the two of them together would be able to find a way to open the void between dimensions that Angella had disappeared into without jeopardizing the existence of reality. There was no way she would refuse if she felt half as broken as him.

“Lord Hordak,” she interrupted his thoughts again, “why did you ask for this meeting?” She sounded worried, likely thinking that this was all a trick.

“I’m here for the Princess of Dryl.” He answered with poise. The princesses at the table looked at each other, seeming confused. Perhaps Entrapta had chosen to be here after all; it would make his chances of having her return to the Fright Zone close to zero. His chest constricted painfully at the thought. “I wish to speak with her.” At the very least, she could give him that. He grew frustrated as the glances shared across the table gave nothing away, only that they were puzzled by his request. Was it so unbelievable that he wanted a last word with his head scientist? The woman he’d let into his sanctum, shared his equipment and knowledge with, had grown affectionate for…

“I don’t understand,” the She-Ra looked at him with a frown and spoke the words he’d least expected: “Entrapta isn’t here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Hordak feels like he misses her "missed her deeply, unfathomably, senselessly, terribly", it's a quote from Letters to Milena by Franz Kafta. I highly recommend it.
> 
> Thank you for all your kind comments! They mean so much to me, especially since I'm a little nervous about my SFW stuff.


	3. Chapter 3

She knitted her brows in utter confusion. Why was he looking for Entrapta in Bright Moon? The last they’d heard she was with the Horde and enjoying it very much. Had she indicated that she wanted to leave and had fled? Adora looked at her friends around the table who seemed as baffled by his request as she was. Shadow Weaver, on the other hand, looked rather intrigued; it wasn’t a look that made her at ease. She turned back to the warlord next to her. “I don’t understand. Entrapta isn’t here.”

None of them were prepared for the sound of shattering glass when Hordak’s talons pierced the smooth surface of the table. Long lines formed in the glass, like ice cracking, making the table look close to splintering into a thousand pieces. The silence that followed was tense as they all held their breaths.

“What do you mean she isn’t here?” Hordak said with deadly calm, although his bleeding claws wedged into the table made it obvious that he was anything but. Adora knew that this was an explosive situation, nearly impossible to defuse, and she racked her brain for a response that might placate the dangerous warlord.

Unfortunately, Mermista spoke first. “Are you dense or what? She joined the Horde, why would she be here?” The thick mockering tone she was so well known for was probably even worse than her words. Hordak’s reaction was immediate.

He rose so violently from his seat that the chair fell back and pulled his talons from the glass in a frightening roar of pure rage, blood spraying from his fingers over the floor. “Because she left! With you!” He bellowed, gripping the edge of the table and easily lifting it above his head before he threw it into a wall where it splintered, finally ending its suffering. Luckily, they were far enough away to avoid being injured the falling shards

Bow was the first of them to react, shooting an arrow with a net to bind Hordak’s wrists together; it was instantly torn apart. Perfuma’s magic formed long vines of plants that quickly tangled themselves around his limbs, rooting him to the spot. Those he managed to break as well, even as they kept coming. Mermista gathered water and threw constant waves against him, slowing his movements, but he still had enough energy to block the attack of Bow’s arrows while he fought against the vines, snarling like a wild animal.

The guards inside the room had come running, but stood back in hesitation when they saw the magical attacks; there was nothing they could do, other than not stand in the way, and for a moment Adora saw what it must be like to live in a world where magic is only for the chosen few when you had none. An image of Catra popped into her mind, but she shook it away. She had no more sympathy left for _her_.

Glimmer’s hand was in Shadow Weaver’s as they tried to send an enchantment Hordak's way, but each attempt failed. “Castaspella!” Glimmer yelled and the doors opened immediately. She had been keeping an eye out for other Horde soldiers with Netossa and Spinnerella and didn't seem to have heard the commotion before Glimmer called her. The throne room was sound isolated. Had Glimmer made her voice teleport in some way?

Castaspella ran around the struggling warlord and instantly gripped Glimmer’s hand. A brief glance was shared between her and Shadow Weaver before they both turned their eyes on Hordak. A large pink circle formed from their matching hand gestures which they then threw at Hordak. Instantly a bubble of sizzling magic appeared around him. The attacks from Perfuma, Mermista and Bow were blocked, but their efforts weren't needed anymore; the barrier proved impenetrable to Hordak as he punched and slashed his claws at it.

It wasn’t until the fight came to this end that Adora realized she’d been standing still through the whole thing. Usually, she threw herself first into any brawl when needed, but during this she’d been frozen, watching the spectacle from a distance. She wasn’t even She-Ra and had no sense of when she'd shed her avatar.

Most of the fight had seemed unnecessary to her. Maybe it was the fact that Hordak hadn’t actually attacked any of them. He’d reacted horribly to the news of Entrapta’s absence, but hadn’t moved to hurt any of them, only defended himself when they responded to his violent tantrum.

Adora was used to violent displays of anger from Catra, but she always lashed out at others. Hordak didn’t. However, she still recognized something in him that reminded her of the hurt Catra felt underneath the anger; perhaps it was the way his ears moved like hers, a show of emotions that Adora had subconsciously learned to read, beginning the moment she’d met Catra.

Whatever it was, Adora hadn’t felt justified in attacking Hordak. Lord Hordak and the Horde were dangerous to the Princess Alliance, but it wasn’t really the vicious warlord who had come here; it was the person beneath. And that person was deeply affected by the news that Entrapta’s whereabouts were unknown.

“Adora!” Glimmer called out to her and it was only then she tore her eyes away from Hordak inside the bubble who was trying to remove the remaining dead vines around his limbs, but otherwise seemed pacified for now, if not resigned to his fate. He even ignored it when Frosta came running with her fist of ice and tried to punch through the magic barrier. “Why didn’t you help? We really needed She-Ra! Didn’t you see how close he came to-”

“To what?” Adora interrupted with frustration and perhaps sympathy for their supposed guest. “Sure, he smashed a table in anger, but he wasn’t actually attacking us, Glimmer.” The others were gathering around them while she spoke and she felt them judging her.

Mermista scoffed and crossed her arms. “Not yet maybe.”

“Adora, he was clearly going to attack.” Perfuma added, although her words wavered a little. Glimmer and Bow who had taken his usual place by her side didn’t look uncertain.

“If we hadn’t acted first, he could’ve killed some of us in a second, Adora! I can’t believe you didn’t help us!” Bow was genuinely disappointed in her, a feeling she absolutely hated. She glanced at Shadow Weaver who’d taught her that failure wasn’t an option, but the sorceress’ eyes were on Hordak. He was sitting now, his back leaning against the wall of the bubble, as he sat with his elbows on his knees and his head hanging low. Defeated.

“He didn’t come with any intention to kill us. And why would he, just because we don’t know where Entrapta is? He’s clearly upset about it, but he’s smart enough to know that he won’t find her by killing us.” Her arguments were falling flat, but she wasn’t wrong about this. She had to trust her instincts.

“It doesn’t matter now. We’re all alive - no thanks to you - and we have him secure for now. We just have to figure out what to do with him.” Glimmer looked anxiously at Hordak who didn't seem to listen to them, but Adora could see his ears moving whenever one of them spoke.

“And Entrapta too, right?” Bow said. “I mean, if she isn’t with the Horde or here, then where is she?”

“Maybe in the Crypto Castle?” Perfuma suggested which made Mermista huff with a degrading laugh.

“I mean, I guess, but I think Hordak would look there first. The Horde occupies the place now.”

“She isn’t there,” their captive murmured, but only Adora paid attention.

“How do we find her then?” Bow looked at Glimmer for guidance, but she still had her eyes set on the warlord inside the barrier, her expression filled with an obvious urge for revenge. She was going through different stages in her grief for her mother, but she never really knew who to blame. Hordak for building the portal? Catra for pulling the lever? Or Angella for sacrificing herself and leaving her daughter?

Bow seemed to sense that Glimmer wasn't interested in Entrapta's role in this. “We have to find her. We already left her behind once!”

“It _is_ possible to do a location spell,” Shadow Weaver slid up in front of Glimmer, blocking her line of sight on Hordak. “It would quickly solve this issue. All we need is something of hers and the power of the Moon Stone.”

Those words had made Hordak react. He was now sitting with his head upright and listening intensely with a fixated stare on… well, one of them. It wasn’t really possible to see who or what he was looking at when he didn’t have pupils.

Adora walked towards him with interest. She’d thought that the crystal by his throat was a curious thing compared to the rest of his armor and now she realized that something was written on it. As she came closer to the bubble, it was obvious to her that it was First Ones’ writing which meant she could read it. He turned away from her when he saw her looking, raising a hand to cover it, but she managed to catch the letters inscribed.

LUVD. A funny way to spell ‘loved’ that told her it wasn’t engraved into the crystal long ago. It suddenly became very clear to her who had given Hordak that crystal and why he had reacted so badly to the news that she was missing.

“That crystal,” Adora said loud enough for everyone to hear it, “you got that from Entrapta, didn’t you?” The others turned to look at Hordak who still had his back to them. When he didn’t respond to her question, she tried another strategy which was bound to work if he felt anything like what was inscribed at the base of his throat. “Then we might be able to use it to find her.” She looked to Shadow Weaver who nodded, although Adora recognized a dark glint in her eyes.

Hordak turned around immediately, hand still covering the crystal. “Can it be done?” Adora wondered if the others heard the hope in his voice underneath the indifference he tried to hide it with.

“It can.” Shadow Weaver stepped towards him and a small sneer appeared on his face. “All I need is a map of Etheria and that crystal,” she pointed at his throat with her grey, bony fingers which made Hordak clutch it as though to protect it, then she swiftly turned to Glimmer, “oh and possibly your assistance, My Majesty.”

“Not under any circumstances!” Hordak proclaimed through gritted teeth at the same time as Castaspella objected.

“Absolutely not! I can do the incantation without your help. I won’t let you abuse Glimmer’s powers anymore.” Having Castaspella do it without Shadow Weaver certainly was preferable, but Adora didn’t like the look on Glimmer’s face as her aunt went around her authority as the Queen of Bright Moon. That was exactly why she listened to Shadow Weaver: she spoke to her with respect - albeit likely a false kind - and didn’t underestimate her powers. She needed to be guided in her new role, not undermined.

“Very well, I’ll be in my garden then if you need me.” Shadow Weaver floated out of the throne room, taking most of the shadows with her. A sense of unease lifted from Adora’s shoulders, despite the warlord within close proximity of her. She turned to him. His expression showed a dignified calmness, but his ears flickered now and then with impatience. He didn’t want to show it, but he was desperate.

“Will you allow Castaspella to borrow the crystal for the spell?” She asked him, knowing the answer would be yes.

“If she promises to return it intact, then yes. I also want the Queen's word that I can leave peacefully and unharmed after I've learned the whereabouts of Entrapta. And I'm going to need a real chair, not a cage of magic.”

“Yeah right,” Mermista let out an expert scoff, followed by a weaker one from Bow, “like we’re stupid enough to let you go after you attacked us.”

“I did not attack you, I wrecked havoc on a table.” He hissed, then seemed to remember himself when he saw the expressions of distrust. “I apologize for my disrespect, Your Majesty. I was overcome with…” He hesitated.

“Emotions?” Perfuma supplied.

“No, absolutely not!” Hordak replied, though it was obvious that he was unsure, even when he schooled his expression into a neutral one. Could it be that the evil warlord of the Fright Zone didn’t understand his own feelings? “I swear to behave with propriety from now on, no matter what information I’m given.”

“I can turn my sword into a lasso and keep him constrained.” Adora offered when no one responded to Hordak. She trusted him for some strange reason, possibly more than she should. But he seemed genuine.

“Very well,” Glimmer answered after a moment of consideration. “Lord Hordak you will have back the crystal and leave uninjured if you act in a reasonable behavior without any violence or aggression. Bow, get my map of Etheria in my room. Lars and Scout, we need a new table, preferably a sturdy one.” She said to the guards who’d stood by in confusion; they saluted her and went out to find one.

Meanwhile, Adora readied the lasso while Castaspella let the containment spell around Hordak drop. He made no move to flee. “Can I be seated first?” He asked politely. Perfuma conjured plants from the floor to make a chair of vines and flowers. It made Hordak raise a sceptical eyebrow, but he still sat down without any questions. With a practiced flick of his talons at the top of his armor, the crystal landed into his large palm and he handed it to Castaspella. She hesitated, fear plain in her eyes, but then quickly grabbed it.

Hordak turned his head to Adora who’d watched every interaction. “I am ready.” He said, his voice having a slight, creaky quality. His jaw clenched as she tied him to the flower chair with the lasso, but he made no effort to move, just sat with dignity as he was incapacitated. She’d never imagined Hordak would surrender so willingly, even temporarily, and certainly not for another person. Entrapta had changed him.

When he was secured to everyone’s satisfaction and frankly, looking quite amusing in the flowery chair with a golden lasso around him, a new table had been brought in and a large map of Etheria laid out on it. It was close enough for Hordak to see from where he sat. Castaspella began the enchantment, mumbling words while making gestures into the air which lit up with magic. Everyone’s eyes were fixed on the small crystal as she sent pink signs in a magical circle towards the crystal lying in front of her on the table.

It reacted the second the spell hit it. In a flash it raced over the map until it stopped abruptly and rose to stand upright with its tip balancing in a specific location on the map. All leaned in to read the name of the island where the crystal had found its owner, although they already knew the place because of its infamy.

“Move! Where is she? Let me see!” Hordak yelled urgently, his view blocked by everyone else as they watched the crystal pinpoint Entrapta’s fate. None of them wanted to step away in fear of his reaction.

Glimmer was the first to speak. She turned to him and said in a grave voice: “Lord Hordak, I request that you keep your calm when you see the current location of Entrapta.”

“Let. Me. See.” He ground out, his large red eyes seeming to burn into Glimmer.

“Very well. Everyone, step back.” They looked at each other in worry. Adora noticed Perfuma’s hands clench and heard Hordak hiss; she’d tied his wrists and ankles to the chair with her vines. Between that and Adora’s lasso, he shouldn’t be able to move. Finally, they stepped back.

They all watched as Hordak’s eyes found the crystal on the map and widened in horror. His voice croaked as he spoke, so hauntingly heartbreaking that Adora’s heart constricted.

“Beast Island.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all the best readers! Thank you so much for following my story.


	4. Chapter 4

His talons, bloody from the tiny shards of glass lodged into his flesh, dug into the branches of the makeshift chair where vines had wrapped around his wrists and now tightened their hold to the point of pain. But he felt no physical agony at that moment. The only thing he could feel was the utter destruction of his hearts - unfortunately figuratively speaking, yet no less real - as he tried to come to terms with the suffocating knowledge he'd just obtained.

Beast Island. Entrapta was on Beast Island and had likely been there for the whole two months she’d been gone. While he’d been nursing his broken hearts after her supposed betrayal, she had been fighting for her life; she still was, unless…

“Is she-” he swallowed a lump in his throat and it fell into his stomach like a large stone. He felt everyone's eyes on him, but all he could focus on was the purple crystal that balanced on its tip right in the middle of the small island on the map. “Does this spell show if she’s-… what condition she’s in?” He could not bear to think that he might never see her again. That she was...

‘No one survives on Beast Island.’ Those words were burned into his memory. King Scorpio was the first to tell Hordak about the island where remains of the First Ones’ discarded technology had polluted the island. No one had been able to explain what happened to the people who were sent there, but it was clear that the beasts on the island weren’t the only thing that killed you.

“Unfortunately no. It only reveals the whereabouts of her… body.” The Mystacor magician answered with a doleful tone that gave him very little hope. His vision seemed to blur slightly and his breathing became more strained as he attempted to absorb this information. The armor was heavy without the crystal to power it and he began to feel gravity pull its weight downwards to slowly squeeze what little life that was left in his cursed body.

“I have to go,” he managed to say in spite of the sensation that someone had their hands around his throat. “Return the crystal to me at once.” His eyes were still locked on the crystal which had now made a little indent in the map where it stood. He was aware of the murmurs from the people around him as they argued, but couldn’t understand the words; his hearing was incapacitated by the rush of blood from his increasing pulse pounding inside his head. It wasn’t until a female hand grabbed the crystal off the map that he raised his gaze to the one who had taken it.

It was She-Ra. Adora as she was called without the magical avatar which had led her astray from the Horde. He had no past recollection of her, although she’d accused him of stealing her from her family. But a spark of recognition lit up within him as she walked over to him with the crystal in her hand, her expression one of sympathy. The memory of the time their paths must’ve crossed years ago - when he had supposedly abducted her - was clouded, a strange abnormality in his otherwise flawless personal memory, but he was sure that he remembered another moment in time where those eyes had looked at him in the same meaningful way.

She turned his right hand which was suddenly no longer bound by vines and placed the crystal in his palm. “Get her back,” she said and he nodded, grateful for her help. As she untied him, he slid the crystal into its slot by his throat and instantly felt the strain on his body lift, although the heavy pain in his chest still lingered. The thought of Entrapta’s fate was unbearable and he did his best to push it aside; he needed strength if he was to take on Beast Island.

The other princesses, the archer, the woman from Mystacor along with the Queen stepped further back from the table as he rose from the chair and walked over to the map to find the fastest route to Beast Island. The Fright Zone was closer to the island than Bright Moon and he would have to trek back through the Whispering Woods. However, his mission had become much more urgent now that he knew where Entrapta was stranded and he couldn’t risk that the volatile woods suddenly turned on him. If he went East, he would pass Dryl where he could stock up on weapons and take one of the Horde’s aircrafts at the base and travel the last distance over the Meadowlands to the shore much faster. From there it would be half an hour at most before he reached Beast Island.

But first he would have to leave Bright Moon which could prove to be a problem. He had theoretically broken the truce by destroying the glass table, even if he hadn’t attacked anyone nor meant any harm. They might be sensible enough to let him go, but there was little chance that they would return the arm cannon unless he had something to bargain with. He would need that cannon if he was to search Beast Island for Entrapta. Luckily, he'd already conceived an idea he could use as a bargaining chip.

“Your Majesty,” he turned towards the Queen, trying his best to look composed, “I want to express my gratitude for your aid in tracking down Entrapta and I deeply apologize for my impolite response. It was not my intention to act with violence. I cannot undo my actions, but if you allow me to leave Bright Moon with my weapon as we originally agreed upon, I have something to offer in return.”

It was obvious that Queen’s interest was sparked immediately, though she tried her best to conceal it. “I accept your apology, Lord Hordak, in spite of your outburst. I’m willing to hear what you offer in repentance.” He withheld a smile when he heard the eagerness in her voice.

“The portal I built caused more harm than I’d anticipated. It was in no way my intention and had I known, I wouldn’t have allowed Force Captain Catra to activate it.” He saw the Queen’s eyes darkening as he recounted the event that had forced her mother to sacrifice herself, but his mind was suddenly occupied with the memory of Catra insisting to pull the lever to switch on the portal. Why had she been so persistent, so angry?

The appearance of Sh- Adora at his side and her serious eyes forced him to focus on the matter at hand. “If- _When_ I have saved Entrapta from the clutches of Beast Island, she and I will work on retrieving the Queen Mother from the place she’s trapped between dimensions. It is my belief that I will succeed with Entrapta’s assistance.”

The Queen’s eyes lit up with surprise and apparent hope. Before she could compose herself, tears flooded her eyes and a smile broke out. “I can have my mom back?” She stepped a little closer to him, trying to wipe away the tears on her cheeks. He nodded, unable to hide the small smile on his own face. Perhaps they could both have their beloved back. Queen Glimmer seemed to remember herself when the archer stepped up and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She stood up straighter and regained her regal pose. “I accept your offering, Lord Hordak. You may have your weapon back and be allowed to go in peace. I expect to hear from you when you return with Entrapta.” She didn’t say it, but he could see the disbelief in her eyes; she didn’t believe that Entrapta was alive and the very notion infuriated him.

If Entrapta had indeed lost her life, it was because of his failings, he reminded himself. He shouldn’t blame this young Queen who was grieving as well when he was responsible for both their losses.

With his rage aimed at himself, he found the self-control to offer his hand to confirm their agreement. She hesitated for a moment before taking his hand and firmly shaking it. “It’s settled then.” Her eyes were only locked with his for a short second before she looked at Adora next to him, her hand quickly dropping away from their brief handshake. “Adora, will you be kind and fetch Lord Hordak’s weapon?” Adora nodded with bright eyes - she was clearly satisfied with the arrangement - then hurried out of the room.

Only a few seconds passed in silence before the Queen was pulled to the side by her friends. He acted as though he couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but he heard everything. “Yeah, so this seems like a bad idea. I mean, do we really believe someone could survive for months on Beast Island?” It was the Princess from Salineas speaking.

“Glimmer, he obviously won’t uphold his end of the deal when he discovers that Entrapta is dead. He’ll likely come after us, madder than ever.” The archer said with conviction. They all continued like this, unaware of how painful every word was to Hordak as they stabbed at what little hope he had of finding her alive and in good health on the island. His eyes began to sting and he squeezed them shut to fight off the tears; the princesses had seen enough of his weaknesses.

“Well, if he didn’t send her there, who did?” He recognized the flower princess’ voice, asking the others a question he hadn’t asked himself yet. How _did_ she end up in that horrible place? Someone must’ve banished her to the island and it could be anyone who had been in the Fright Zone at the time of her disappearance.

It was a fact that every kingdom on Etheria used the island as a way to dispose of prisoners, traitors and the like; it had been expected that he as the new Lord of the Fright Zone did the same when King Scorpio fell, but truth be told, he had never actually done it. It reminded him too much of his own fate of being sent to the front lines by Prime. Shadow Weaver was meant to have been the first until Catra had let her escape.

Catra. Entrapta had convinced him not to send her to Beast Island, to let her prove her worth. And she had done so in the Crimson Waste, a place more commonly used as punishment in the Horde. In an unexpected twist it was now Entrapta forsaken on that damned island while Catra was threatening him, so she could take over command of the Horde.

Catra was everything Entrapta was not: ruthless, untrustworthy and inconsiderate of those closest to her. He’d seen her treat Entrapta with malice, even though the latter had assured him that they were friends. But Catra would stop at nothing if someone got in her way. Had Entrapta gotten in her way? Catra had been the one who last saw Entrapta as far as he knew, the one who had told him of her betrayal.

It suddenly seemed so very clear to him: Catra had been the one to send Entrapta to certain death on Beast Island! His brilliant scientist had gotten in the way of Catra’s own agenda and had paid the price by being sent to the very place she’d saved her alleged friend from.

Such a fool he had been for trusting that sinister cat who’d proved herself a liar before! He had been so caught up in his own unworthiness as Entrapta’s friend that he had doubted her sincerity and had believed Catra’s words in spite of her deceitful nature that she’d likely learned from Shadow Weaver. He’d been so absorbed in his own self-loathing that he hadn’t realized how traitorous she’d actually become. And Entrapta had suffered as a result of his neglectance.

Of course, Catra couldn’t have acted on her own. She wasn’t gone from the sanctum long enough to have gotten Entrapta on a transport vessel. Someone must’ve helped her and it had to be one with a high ranking to have ordered a transport to Beast Island without him being informed of it. It was obvious who'd acted as Catra's accomplice: Force Captain Scorpia. The very person who’d sent him on this wild goose chase to Bright Moon when she was well aware of Entrapta’s location. He should’ve known with all the information she seemed to have about that fateful day.

Catra and Scorpia, two people Entrapta had seen as her friends and they had both betrayed her. Just like the princesses had left her behind in the Fright Zone when she’d first arrived there. How could anyone treat her like that? She was so kind and brilliant, a precious gem among the dirty rubble that lived on Etheria.

Anger burned inside him. How he wished to send a storm of brimstone and fire down upon everyone who’d ever treated Entrapta with anything but kindness. How dare they!

But hadn't he done the same? Not only had he attempted to drive her from his sanctum several times until he learned of her exceptional skills, an overhasty mistake that was only righted because of her insistent curiosity. Yet, again, on the very day of her disappearance - even after she'd become his confidant, his friend - he had snapped at her in such a reckless manner which she hadn't deserved. Her downhearted expression still haunted him daily; he'd believed that the mindless action had caused her to betray him, that it had been the final straw to her, but instead it might've been the very last time he would ever get to see her.

His injured talons dug into his palms until his skin broke; it was the only thing that kept him grounded as he stood in this sparkling palace while Entrapta might be fighting for her life far from here. He needed to get out of here, to get to her before it was too late.

“For the honor of Grayskull!” The sentence sounded from another room nearby and it was just barely enough to pull him from his towering fury that threatened to unleash itself upon his surroundings. It was the mention of Grayskull that caught his attention; he remembered it. At least it was in his memories, but not from his time on Etheria. He quickly realized that the name had come from the last remains of the Hivemind.

He’d sometimes stumbled upon information he’d never directly obtained from the Hivemind when he was still connected, but which somehow had found its way into his permanent memories. Usually, it was useful; it was how he’d known how to operate additional ports correctly into his skin or what to feed the Imp with after he’d become sentient and escaped his pod. But never such a meaningless thing as a name. Nevertheless, it was strange how it appeared to relate to the avatar of the She-Ra.

Adora, as She-Ra, emerged with his arm cannon. “Sorry, it took so long. It’s really heavy for a normal person. Here you are.” She handed him the arm cannon with a kind smile and it was so amiable that he nearly felt the urge to ask her about the origin of Grayskull. But they were still enemies and while Adora struck him as someone who’d gladly share information, he doubted her comrades would approve of it. They were already scowling at him as though he’d overstayed his welcome and he supposed he had; none of this had gone as he’d imagined, but at least he knew the truth about Entrapta’s disappearance and hopefully, it wouldn’t be too late… He would save her. The alternative was too horrible to imagine.

“Thank you, She-Ra,” he said before looking at Queen Glimmer and her companions, “and to you as well. I’m grateful for the information you’ve provided me with and I will do my very best to rescue the Princess of Dryl.”

“Do you need help? I mean, we care about Entrapta too.” Adora asked.

“I think it’s best our ways as allies part here. I will take my leave immediately.” Everyone but Adora looked relieved; she seemed rather worried. He wondered if she was the only one of the so-called Alliance who truly cared about Entrapta.

He bowed his head slightly as a farewell, then turned to exit the room. She-Ra jogged after him and in silence followed him out and down to the Horde skiff which was surrounded by a bunch of children who seemed excited to see such a machine up close. He was almost sad to see them run away when he neared; it would’ve been entertaining to show off his arm cannon to them. Perhaps even recruit some of them.

Before he entered the skiff, he looked down to see the short Adora standing next to him. It was eerie how she switched so silently back to herself. Magic had always made him uneasy. “Good luck, Hordak. I’m sure she’s alright. If anyone can survive on Beast Island, it’s Entrapta.”

He appreciated her sentiment. And she was right: Entrapta was an incredible person. She might even have discovered what made the island so dangerous. “Thank you, Adora. You’ve been very… obliging.” He cringed at his own words. Compliments were new to him, but Entrapta had taught him their value.

At last, he left Bright Moon, relieved that Entrapta hadn’t left him by her own will, but fearful of what she’d suffered after two months on the most perilous place on Etheria. But he would find her, even if he had to sacrifice everything he had to save her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your continued support! It means everything to me!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter this week, but it's important to the plot. 
> 
> I want to clarify that this isn't an anti-Catra fic, but her actions will be addressed and have consequences since she is the reason Entrapta was sent to Beast Island which is the main plot of this story.

Adora watched as the Horde skiff drove east towards Dryl at extraordinary speed, her thoughts working through the new information she’d received in the last few hours and what she’d learned about Hordak.

She could probably count on her hands how many times she’d been in the same room as him when she was in the Horde and he’d always been distant; observing rather than engaging, except for a final command before he ordered everyone to leave. Supposedly, she would’ve interacted with him more after she’d been appointed Force Captain, handing in monthly reports and receiving direct orders, but she never got that far.

Her only other interaction with him before today was when Catra had brought her to him as a prisoner. He’d been more focused on her sword and its ability to open his portal that he had barely acknowledged her presence at first. She’d engaged him in conversation, not the other way around. Entrapta had been there too, but at the time she hadn’t seemed to be more than a scientist working with Hordak. Although as Adora looked back upon the fateful day, she remembered how Entrapta had dropped the sword that she’d been so intrigued by when Hordak had groaned with apparent pain. It had frustrated Adora at the time because of how careless Entrapta was acting, but now she was wondering if it had been a clue to Entrapta’s feelings for the warlord.

Furthermore, she had not paid much attention to the conversation between Catra and Hordak when she’d heard that her friends had arrived to rescue her, but hadn’t Hordak turned oddly upset and agitated after that? Was that the moment he’d been informed of Entrapta’s alleged betrayal?

In that case it was obvious who had come up with that lie. The whole thing oozed of Catra’s manipulation. But could she really be the one who’d sent Entrapta to Beast Island?

Adora had always done her best to see the good in people, even those who were her enemies. Everyone had a reason for their deeds, good or bad, and as someone who’d grown up in the Horde, she knew that very few in the Fright Zone were truly nefarious; Shadow Weaver and Hordak had been on the top of that list. At least she’d thought so. But she’d seen another side of Hordak today that had her question whether he was diabolic or simply against feudalism on Etheria.

Meanwhile, she’d thought that Catra was inherently good, but now found all evidence pointing against her assessment. If her former friend really had sent Entrapta - a strange, but genuinely nice and useful alley - to her certain death and lied about it to Lord Hordak, then she had gone too far.

Adora had given up on trying to save her friendship with Catra after the portal incident, but she couldn’t let her continue that wicked behavior. Hordak must already have reached the same conclusion as Adora and would definitely kill Catra if Entrapta had died on Beast Island; it was highly plausible that he would kill her no matter the outcome.

She doubted that Catra feared death after having seen her rash and hazardous actions when reality was collapsing, but she might change her ways if Adora told her the truth: that her behavior was reminiscent of the person Catra had hated the most; that she was turning into the new Shadow Weaver.

Adora knew that her friends wouldn’t let her go to the Fright Zone to warn their enemy, but this wasn’t up to them. They didn’t know what she and Catra had been through when they grew up with Shadow Weaver as their guardian and how Catra had been punished for everything while Adora had been praised. No one in the Alliance could even begin to understand it.

She decided to do the easy thing: tell them that she was going to the Crystal Castle to train with Swift Wind. It would mean listening to Swift Wind complain and argue when he learned where they were really going, but it was still a better option than explaining it to her friends.

Hopefully, Catra would listen to reason for once. Otherwise, this would surely be her downfall.

* * *

Shadow Weaver had lingered in the shadows outside the throne room during the rest of Hordak’s stay and had heard every word. In spite of her dislike of the little catgirl she’d raised, she had to acknowledge that Catra had done well. It was impressive how she’d somehow come close enough to manipulate Hordak and have him trust her enough to believe that the Dryl princess had betrayed the Horde.

If only Shadow Weaver had predicted Hordak’s fascination with the little scientist sooner, she would’ve done something similar and used it to her advantage. Maybe then she wouldn’t have been forced to flee the Fright Zone.

Of course, now that Hordak was off to Beast Island to save the Dryl princess, the Fright Zone and the Black Garnet were free for the taking. It would be easy to reclaim her position there or perhaps become the leader. After all, Hordak wasn’t likely to survive his stay on the deadly island; the princess certainly couldn’t have.

Catra might object if Shadow Weaver returned to take the throne, but she knew exactly how to handle that little nuisance; she knew that girl better than anyone, how desperate she was for approval. A mere mention of her accomplishment as second-in-command and the manipulation of Hordak would be enough to have Catra eating out of her hand. 

As leader of the Fright Zone, Shadow Weaver could use the Horde’s resources to take control of the other runestones and become more powerful than even She-Ra herself. And it was all thanks to Catra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm so happy that you follow my story.
> 
> We'll be back with Hordak next week and all the angst that follows.


	6. Chapter 6

It took him a few hours to reach the kingdom of Dryl which he spent on briefing his highest ranking subordinates, starting with Force Captain Cobalt. He was the only one currently at the Fright Zone with several years of experience since the Force Commanders all were out in the field and though he wasn’t particularly clever - the reason why he hadn’t been promoted to Force Commander yet - he was a better choice to be in charge of the Fright Zone for a longer period of time. Especially since Hordak now knew that Scorpia couldn’t be trusted.

He informed Cobalt that he was going to Dryl to track down Princess Entrapta, knowing that Scorpia would discover the truth if he was to reveal his true mission, and sent out a quick memorandum to alert the staff and the soldiers in training of Cobalt’s temporary status as the highest authority until a Force Commander returns to the Fright Zone.

He contacted Force Commander Grizzlor next. The lion man was currently with Catra and luckily someone who could be trusted. To a certain degree at least. He had a fierce temper which was why Hordak apprised him of Entrapta’s true whereabouts, but not who had sent her there; otherwise, he would’ve gone after Catra himself for deserting the kind princess on Beast Island. Hordak told him to keep Entrapta’s location a secret. Furthermore, he ordered Grizzlor to make an excuse to hold up the youngest Force Captains, including Catra and Scorpia, at the Fright Zone when their squadron returned during the night. The trustworthy feline didn’t ask any question and promised to follow his leader’s commands.

Lastly, he spoke to Force Commander Octavia. Her squadron was near Skull Path on their way back from the kingdom of Snows after Catra had decided that they should focus their efforts on one target. Octavia's was the team closest to Beast Island. He told her, in full confidentiality, what he'd learned in Bright Moon about Entrapta's fate and who he suspected to be behind it. As Entrapta had made a highly technologically advanced eye for Octavia to replace her damaged eye, he knew that she could be entrusted with such a secret about their mutual friend's current location. The Force Commander was enraged by this information, although not surprised because she claimed that she'd never believed that Entrapta was capable of betraying the people in the Horde.

Unfortunately, she didn't think she could persuade any soldiers to go to Beast Island to find Entrapta. As beloved as the tiny princess was, no one dared to go there; Octavia was certain that her soldiers would rather defect and risk a swift death as punishment than follow them to the island of their worst nightmares.

The commander offered to go along with Hordak, but he declined. The truth was that her squadron needed a commander and if they returned to the Fright Zone without Octavia, Catra would suspect something was amiss. He also knew that Octavia could become dangerously aggressive when faced with an immediate threat to her person and he would worry too much about her mind snapping in such a place.

Alas, he would have to go on his own. It didn't come as a surprise to him and he felt confident in his own abilities, but strength lay in numbers; Horde Prime had taught him that. Not that Prime would ever put his own life in jeopardy for anyone nor waste his clones on rescuing one. After all clones were expendable.

But Hordak knew for certain that Entrapta was not. She was the only one in the whole universe that he would willingly travel to the cursed island for; perhaps with the exception of Prime, but then it would be required of him. Saving Entrapta was his own choice, a concept that still felt strange to him even after thirty years on this backwater planet without a connection to Prime or the Hivemind. He’d been forced to make choices, but kept them limited and only related to his military operations. In regards to his own person, he did the bare minimum. 

Entrapta had taught him that it was acceptable to choose options that benefitted your personal comfort and even preferences. When he’d given her a private room worthy of a princess, she’d still chosen to sleep in a vent near his sanctum because it was more to her liking, and when he’d offered her the very best food on Etheria, she’d only eaten a few berries, then gone for the ration bars because they were easy to break into tiny pieces as she preferred. She encouraged him to have a more comfortable resting space and eat what he enjoyed the taste of, rather than the bare minimum. He felt unworthy, but it had improved his physical and mental health.

Of course, he’d gone back to his old ways when she disappeared, more certain than ever that he was not worthy of life’s pleasures. He’d imagined that the princesses had offered her not only more quality tiny foods, but friendships with people who weren’t emotionally stunted like he was. The sad truth was that he had very little to offer her besides his knowledge (which was limited) and his sanctum. Even though she’d not left him willingly, she deserved more than befriending a defect alien who was unfamiliar with the concept of friendship, companionship and… love.

Pain in his chest gripped him as he thought of the kind things she'd done for him. He’d been blessed with a year with her and she’d only been repaid by being betrayed by his own soldiers. Not only that, but he’d doubted her agency to choose where she wished to be. Entrapta was not the type to leave without a word; she knew how difficult it could be to understand others’ motives, so she always made sure that they understood hers.

The very least he could do for her now was rescue her from the island. It would show her that he cared, that she mattered. He’d never leave her behind like the princesses’ had done and he would never betray her. Whatever she chose when they returned from Beast Island, he would respect it, even if it meant that he would never see her again.

 _If_ they returned from Beast Island. The constant buzz in his head turned louder, the persistent reminder that she could be dead. ‘No one survives on Beast Island.’ King Scorpio’s voice repeated again and again. He thought of the many ways she could’ve perished already, her last thoughts of how little she’d meant to him. It was likely the most horrible scenario he could imagine.

It was best that no one followed him to Beast Island. Force Commander Octavia may be mentally unstable at times, but Hordak was well aware that his own weak mind wouldn’t withstand the knowledge that Entrapta was truly gone. Deep inside he was already laying plans to burn the island to the ground and himself along with it. Let it die for killing her and him for failing her.

His mind was utterly exhausted when he reached Dryllian territory by the foot of the tallest mountain where the Horde had set up their camp. They’d originally planned to use the Crypto Castle as their command post, much to Entrapta’s amusement; the first squad who entered the castle along with her to pack her things had fallen into traps while the second got lost in the maze of corridors and levels when they tried to retrieve the first squad. After Force Commander Leech got stuck in a door which was actually a trap, Hordak had allowed them an additional budget to set up a camp and let the castle be.

Force Commander Leech was the first to properly greet him, except for a few acceptable bows from the soldiers who watched him step out of the skiff; he’d likely been alerted of the Lord's imminent arrival. “Lord Hordak, what an honor to have you visit. To what do we owe this pleasure?” He was one of the least compelling creatures in the Horde, large and green with suction cups on his hands and feet and a giant mouth full of teeth. However, his appearance wasn’t why he’d been given an assignment so far from the Fright Zone. Leech was loyal, one of the first to join the Horde in hopes of equality, but he didn’t work well with others. He’d grown up with his clan in isolation because they were shunned from society and he still suffered from the lack of exposure to other people. In Dryl he had his own squadron who knew him and who he could trust. It was an important job to guard the kingdom they’d been gifted when Entrapta joined the Horde and many of their resources were mined from this place. Having Leech in charge here was beneficial for both of them.

Hordak had actually never been to Dryl before. As he saw the Dryllian flag flutter beside that of the Horde, he felt an odd sensation in his chest, as though something gripped him. Dryl and the Horde, a marriage between the most technologically advanced kingdoms on Etheria. The Dryllian people were happy in spite of the Horde’s interference which was kept at a bare minimum and they had gained a trading partner. In turn the Horde had gained valuable resources and more territory.

But he’d personally been given something invaluable: a lab partner. A friend. And seeing their flags waving side by side made his hearts ache with a deep longing to see her again. Like the crystal, the Crypto Castle was a connection to her and suddenly he felt the need to explore it. That, along with the exhaustion he felt in his very bones, made him answer the Force Commander differently than originally planned.

“I’m here to search for old recordings the Princess may have made about ancient technology before she joined the Horde.” He knew that Entrapta had digitalized all her old recordings, but Leech didn’t know this. He just needed a few hours in this castle where no one had disturbed the remains of her presence. It would give him strength. “After that, I will be taking Horde Aircraft Razor model 7G to continue my travel.”

“Very well, I'll make the arrangements to have it ready for you, Sir.” Leech replied, not appearing to suspect anything amiss. “But I’ll advise you not to enter that castle. It’s a maze littered with traps. If I didn’t know better I would say it was made by a crazy person.” He laughed, a mixture of a deep chuckle and suction sounds with his many teeth on display.

“Not to worry. I know where to go.” Hordak moved past the Force Commander and through the small camp to follow the road up to the castle. Leech's comment implying that Entrapta was mentally unwell when she simply had enjoyed herself devising complicated pathways incensed him. Building a confusing layout of the castle and laying out traps actually seemed like quite a rational way to protect herself, a small princess in a large castle. He didn’t know how long she’d lived without living companionship, except for a few servants, only that her parents had died when she was six. Thereafter, she’d begun making robots to replace the people she struggled to communicate with.

The Crypto Castle had been built on a flat surface on the side of the mountain, bearing resemblance to an actual fortress. Though it didn’t appear to be connected to the mountain, he knew that hidden passages led into it. The structure itself was beautiful, a much different style than the one in Bright Moon, but more to Hordak’s taste. It wasn’t embellished, but offered its own kind of simple, effortless beauty - much like its princess.

Lights from the purple-tinted windows lit up the stone walls outside and he remembered that she'd connected the whole powergrid in Dryl to moon panels on the other side of the mountain. It was brilliant how she always found a way to make use of Etheria’s natural resources. The lights reminded him so much of her and he felt drawn to the castle, secretly hoping against hope that she might be there. Could he really trust the magic that had pointed him to Beast Island? Perhaps he would find her inside, tinkering with a new project which had captured her attention. He knew how unlikely the scenario was, but his insides churned whenever he thought about her actual whereabouts; sometimes it felt easier to pretend. 

As he reached the entrance, unlocked as though it wanted to welcome any guests into its dangerous lair, he pulled out a datapad and accessed his personal account. While he didn’t have Entrapta’s recordings which contained her theories and data on the First Ones' technology, as well as her voice that he so longed to hear, he did have all the data she’d written down, including that which she had brought along with her when she moved from Dryl to the Fright Zone. It was easy to find the right file, even in her less than well-organized folders. When he opened it, a detailed map of the Crypto Castle’s labyrint appeared.

He could’ve shared it with the Force Commander, but he’d chosen not to. It would’ve disturbed what little there was left of Entrapta’s presence there. Besides, there was no guarantee that she’d remembered to write down every trap, not if she’d added it at a spur of the moment. Imp had learned that the hard way once where Entrapta on a whim had added a contraption to the vent leading into the sanctum without informing anyone. The poor thing was scared of shoes for weeks after.

The maze was built in the most impressive manner without any pattern to discern a way in or out. He saw no signs of walls put up to lead the intruder in a certain direction, but there were subtle traces of the original building’s construction. At some point this had been a fairly ordinary castle, but changes had been made to confuse whoever came as a guest and he knew who had done it.

The map led him through hidden trap doors and hatches which weren't built for his 7 feet frame and while he was positive that he went in circles on four occasions, it did give him the opportunity to appreciate the architecture, old and new, and realizing how it had influenced Entrapta’s aesthetics. Although she didn’t take notice of it herself, her machines and robots bore clear likeness to her former home: earthly colors mixed with purple or magenta. Even her choice of First Ones’ crystals often leaned towards these colors when possible. It was probably why her robots were unpainted; the single added color of a power crystal was enough. A tint of liveliness in the otherwise monotone surface.

Just like she’d embedded the purple crystal into his armor and how she herself had brightened his life.

For a moment he pictured the dark jungle of Beast Island lit up by her brightness, an impossible feat that he nonetheless imagined her capable of. But the island was malicious and his inner eye conjured up an image of creeping shadows in the jungle pulling her into the darkness, the light of her magenta eyes dying along with her screams.

He came to an immediate stop in one of the endless halls and barely managed to bend over as he emptied the contents of his stomach onto the stone floor. Her dying screams echoed in his mind, even drowning out the sound of his retching. His skin grew sweaty, despite how cold it was, and his hearts beat furiously. He tried desperately to dispel the images in his head - the very plausible scenario of Entrapta’s fate that he didn’t want to face - but they persisted. There was no more in his stomach, yet he kept dry-heaving, his body now trembling from exhaustion and emotional distress. 

Finally, he grabbed the crystal and pulled it from its slot - needing to see the proof of her existence, needing a connection to her - but it only caused his legs to give and he fell to his knees. Pain shot through his body from the impact, but it was enough to distract him from the inner agony that had plagued him a minute ago. So was the stench from his vomit in which he’d landed.

He looked down at the crystal in his palm, but averted his gaze again quickly; it would do him no good to be submerged into more horrific fantasies. He’d already failed her, but he would do his best to right his wrong and he could only do that if he remained level-headed.

He wasn’t far from her lab where her bedroom with en suite bathroom was accessible through a hatch; he could clean his filthy armor there, an easy task as only the metal had been soiled. He reinserted the crystal in its slot and was supplied with energy to rise from his wretched state. It was fortunate that they had never installed security cameras in the castle or else he would’ve been utterly shamed by his underlings. They wouldn't dare say anything to his face, naturally, but it still wouldn't do. 

It took him a few minutes to reach her former laboratory which was completely empty as expected. Only two bare worktables stood left behind as a sad reminder of what had once dwelled in this space. He swiftly moved on and headed for her bedroom which might be less desolate and had running water that allowed him to wash.

He hesitated outside her bedroom door, unsure if he wanted to know what was behind it. It was probably just a simple bedroom, rarely used because she might’ve slept in her lab or in a vent somewhere; it would be very much like her. But it would crush his hope of feeling a little bit closer to her.

What awaited him on the other side of the door was somehow as he should've expected: the room was tiny with barely three meters to each side and the ceiling too low for Hordak to stand upright. It was painted in a dark purple color which kept it dark and almost cozy. The floor was a mess of unfinished machines, papers with scribbles on them and various personal items, like a few hairbrushes, discarded clothes and an open pack of thankfully unused band-aids.

He bent down and entered the room, surprised by the lack of dust inside. Entrapta must’ve kept it completely isolated in an airtight vacuum, a clever method to preserve her things without having to pack them. Instead, the small space smelled purely of engine oil and lavender, a combination that reminded him so much of her that his breath hitched as he strangled a sob. 

It was embarrassing that he was so affected by her absence, even after all this time, but where he before had been heartbroken by her betrayal, he was now terrified that he would never see her again. Had she just left him, he would’ve at least known that she was happy and safe with the princesses, but now… No, he would keep his mind focused. Clean, rest and rescue her.

Spotting the door to the bathroom, according to Entrapta’s map at least, he stumbled through the clutter on the floor with a hunched back and lowered head to avoid bumping it up into the ceiling. As he opened the door, a familiar voice spoke.

“Hi Entrapta, it’s you!” An endearing cackle followed. “I know you’re tired and just wanna go to bed. BUT you have to shower to get rid of the worst stains and brush your teeth after all those fizzy drinks. The dentist bot doesn't work yet. Most importantly brush your hair, otherwise it gets cranky! And remember to take off your clothes and send it down the laundry shoot before the shower or else it will stick to your body and remember how much we hate that?”

Hordak’s chest burned with both relief and intense heartche. The sound of her voice was more soothing to him than he had ever acknowledged during the time they worked together and he was overjoyed to hear it again, but it reminded him of how much he took her presence for granted. She should have known how much she meant to him. And now she might never know it.

A click interrupted the recording and there was a brief pause before another voice spoke. “Being clean and refreshed keeps a scientist at her best.”

The male voice had a familiar accent to it that reminded him of Entrapta and the rattled quality of the recording made him conclude that it was made many years ago. It seemed very likely that it was her father or someone close to her; the fact that she’d added the recording to her daily routine spoke volumes of her attachment to this person.

He knew Entrapta had been lonely after her parents’ death. She’d replaced them with robots, but they hadn’t been adequate and she’d taken to talking to herself because of it. Perhaps that was why she’d needed to hear this voice, to remind her that she’d had more. Although it might’ve caused her more pain than good. He was beginning to suspect that it was the same for him in this place. 

He cleaned his armor in the plain blue bathroom, deciding to take extra care to wipe down every surface because he’d traveled the halls filled with dust and cobwebs. Her room was so clean because of the vacuuming method that had kept it airtight and he’d loathe to dirty it.

Afterwards he went back into her bedroom, bone-weary and heavy-hearted. He was aware that he needed to rest and there was nowhere better to find it because her room provided him with comfort, yet he knew it was shallow; it couldn’t replace her.

As he sat down on the bed, he noticed an object on her nightstand and reached for it in curiosity. It was a robotic figure of some sort, resembling a standard humanoid Etherian with a bland look on its face. Nothing decorated the matted metal surface nor did it seem to have a function of any kind; there was nothing remarkable about it.

He was about to put it down on the nightstand when he heard a rattle inside it. It only took him a few seconds to find a small hatch at the top of the figure’s head which he popped open. A small purple stone fell out just as he heard another click of a recorder.

“Everyone is made from the same mold, whether they look like us or not. We all have value. But some people are born with a special atom inside them that makes them unique. This atom gives them incredible powers of focus, intelligence or the ability to absorb knowledge. But it can also make some things very difficult to understand. It takes a strong mind to have such an atom.

“You, my sweet girl, have an atom inside you, much like this stone. Try to put it on the robot; see how it uses the iron’s magnetic ability to stay where you placed it. It makes the robot more beautiful, doesn’t it?

“This makes you one of a kind and though it can seem like a curse at times, it is a true gift. Never give up, no matter how hard things may seem. Your gift will change Etheria in ways that not even preliminary data can predict.”

“Does it make me perfect, daddy?” a young voice asked and Hordak felt his throat constrict; he knew that voice.

“No, it doesn’t. And where would the fun be in that? Perfection leaves nothing to improve, nothing to explore. What need for scientific experimentation would there be if everything was perfect? What's important is that you stay true to yourself. And always remember that you are loved.”

Hordak choked on a sob as the recording ended. He lifted the robot and placed the little stone at the place where the head connected to the body and it perched itself there, a marking of the robot’s uniqueness. Entrapta’s father’s words had been for the little girl who was different from others and needed a visualisation. He’d never know how it would resonate with an alien warlord almost 30 years later.

But Entrapta had carried that sentiment with her and had probably tried to believe her father's words, even when people didn’t treat her nicely. He desperately hoped that she somehow still knew the truth: that she was loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the last part about Entrapta having a special atom inside her after a therapist said this to my son to explain his autism. I think it's a great way to describe it and it fit so well into Hordak's musings about Entrapta.   
> While my son didn't have a robot with a magnetic stone, we built a Lego man with a purple brick near his heart (and yes, purple is his favorite color - gender colors be damned!)
> 
> Thank you for reading! It means so much and I would love to hear any thoughts you might have.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be from Entrapta's point of view which is difficult for me to write as a neurotypical. I want to do her justice.
> 
> Something that neurotypical people (including me) forget is that many people with autism need to have predictability in their daily life. I haven't seen this aspect depicted in Entrapta very often, but I've decided to bring it up in this chapter because you can't have a schedule on Beast Island.

Entrapta wanted to stomp her feet in frustration, but it would be too risky. She’d just barely escaped the caterpillar beast that apparently was capable of climbing trees as well, but it had cost her the welding mask she was so fond of. It didn’t have any sentimental value and it would be fun to find an alternative to replace the mask, it was just that she didn’t like change.

Although most people thought she was impulsive, she had many routines that she needed to feel balanced and if the routine was changed for some reason, it was important to know in advance. Otherwise, she would react with anger or disappear into her own head. It was how she’d ended up as a hermit when her fathers died; her entire routine was destroyed. She’d salvaged some by making robots, but it wasn’t the same.

However, it was hard to keep any kind of schedule for her days on Beast Island and that made her vulnerable to whatever this island fed on. The only thing that had kept her alive so far was her natural curiosity to discover what made things tick. And the island ticked like a bomb!

She usually avoided the feelings of failure and insecurity by keeping herself busy. At first it had been easy because she needed to find shelter and food, a task that kept her mind occupied. She’d pushed the nagging thoughts about Hordak’s rejection into the back of her head until she'd obtained the basic means for survival.

The realisation that some kind of signal was enhancing her depressing thoughts had come when she’d begun work on a plan to escape the island. Something had whispered to her that no one wanted her, that everyone sent her away or left her behind because she was annoying and weird and not worth more than what she could offer them.

She’d always been good at keeping those thoughts at bay in her life, but the island seemed to find them and explore them, making her forget the physical world around her. Then long black vines would snake around her limbs until they’d bound her completely to the island.

She’d only escaped the vines the first time because of a man who looked to have been there a long time; he had used a magical enchantment that made the vines wither before he had tried to pull her up from the ground by her hand. The touch to her easily overstimulated hand yanked her out of her haze of insecurities, but it also caused her to run away and spend an hour shaking the sensation of the direct touch out of her hand.

Since then she’d seen the man here and there, even leaving him a few leaf cups of soup as a thank you. After all he did try to help; how could he know that she couldn’t handle it when people abruptly touched her hands?

But she didn’t want to connect with him. Even though they would have greater chances of survival if they worked together, she knew that more social interactions would mean more failure. In a place such as this, it would literally kill her if another person cast her aside like she was nothing.

Her interest in the signal had made her focus less on escaping. The island’s abilities were fascinating and she needed to know more. It had led her further towards the center of the island where it grew stronger. There were less beasts, either because of the lack of food or because they felt the signal too, but she’d found more metal and pieces of technology resembling the First Ones' that she could use to make weapons and security measures to increase her odds of survival. One of the first things she’d made was a tiny sensor in her mask that alerted her if she got caught up in her fears and vines got hold of her, setting off an alarm in her hair roots. It had turned out not to be enough because her hair had been entangled by the vines as well; she’d barely gotten away.

Of course, she would have to make a new sensor now that her mask was gone. But it only took her a glance around her to realize that the run-in with the caterpillar thing had been worth it: she had landed in a dark clearing covered by neon-glowing vines, but there was a huge rock in front of her. At least it looked like a rock, but it was actually a metal construction in disguise.

It took her nearly an hour to find an entrance; she would’ve done it much faster if she’d had explosive or at the very least welding tools. But just before nightfall she came upon a vine underneath the rest climbing the rock that was bright neon-green unlike all the others. With a hard pull, she fell through a hatch that opened beneath her feet.

She landed on the floor in some sort of fortress. While there was no visible source of light, she could easily see the shiny black walls and floors surrounding her, along with a doorway leading into another room. There were no signs of the jungle or neon vines down here. It was obviously a sort of sanctuary to evade the wildness, one created many years ago which meant that she’d discovered an ancient First Ones’ construction. And on Beast Island no less!

Her mind should’ve been instantly occupied with the new discovery, but her immediate thought was that her head felt clear for the first time since she’d arrived on Beast Island. There were no whispers of insecurities or fears down here and it was only then she realized how high-strung she’d been until now; it was as though a massive weight had been removed from her mind.

Her knees buckled as her body turned slack with sheer relief and she fell to the smooth floor, overwhelmed by the silence inside her. Tears flooded her eyes and she let them fall as she emptied herself of all she’d strained to keep inside to avoid being caught by the vines.

She had been sent away to die by the person she’d fallen in love with. Maybe she’d gotten too close or she might not have been of use to him anymore. Whatever it was, he’d deemed it necessary to dump her on Beast Island without an explanation or warning; not even a last conversation had he given her.

He’d seemed so sincere in their interactions, metaphorically building a window in the walls he’d put up and let her have a peek inside. Had he not smiled at her suggestion that they didn’t rush the portal and just kept working together before Catra had arrived with the sword?

And Catra… while she had acted under orders, it would’ve been nice with a warning. They were supposed to be friends, right? Had Catra tried to persuade Hordak to let her stay like Entrapta had done for her?

Oh, social relationships were so difficult! Hordak might just have smiled condescendingly at her silly musings and had only endured her presence until she’d solved his portal problem. Perhaps she should count herself lucky that he’d sent her to Beast Island before he saw what a failure the portal ended up being with reality collapsing and all that. He might’ve torn out her heart with his claws and that would've been worse than being sent away; having those red orbs stare at her in hate as he claimed her life.

She hugged her knees tightly against her body and crumbled into a ball consisting of her hair as the cathartic crying took over her body.

No one had ever listened to her like he had and he had understood what she said. He had even shared his knowledge about the infinite universe with her and answered all her questions. She wasn’t sure how to go back to living without that kind of interaction. She didn’t _want_ to go back.

Why couldn’t she just have been born normal like everyone else? No one was shook by casual touching or seemed to struggle to be friends with others like her. It wasn’t for the lack of trying that she never made any real friends, but she was constantly forgotten or ignored unless people needed something from her. And then she was thrown away like a discarded piece of metal.

‘She ain’t right in the head.’ Those words were from one of her earliest memories: her uncle had been there to visit them at the Crypto Castle. He had usually taken care of the administrative mess that being a regent came with and rarely stopped by to visit her dads. This time he’d barely been there a few minutes before he’d said it. “She ain’t right in the head. She can’t talk normally, doesn’t seem interested in anything but machines and can’t even look you in the eyes more than a second. And the squeaking! That’s not normal. You can’t make her your heir.”

Her dads had disagreed and they had done their best to make her forget her uncle’s words, but they stayed in the back of her mind. He had been right; she hadn’t been able to speak somewhat properly until she was more than five years old and showed no interest in other people. Instead she’d been occupied with some current obsession for hours at a time and forgot to go to the bathroom because she simply didn’t feel it. But she had still wanted to share her interests with others and have friends.

With the help of her dads she’d learned most basic skills, including going to the bathroom, but then they’d died before they had taught her everything. After that she hadn't had the energy to pretend to be normal.

Hordak hadn’t expected her to be normal. He hadn’t told her to be quiet or sit still, but instead seemed to respect her, going so far to invite her into his space and encourage her to share her thoughts and work as she found most effective. He’d even allowed her to work on his most sensitive project and build him improved armor to compensate for his atrophy. Had he truly feigned all of it and used her lack of basic social understanding to take advantage of her assets?

All the feelings she’d fought to keep inside since she'd found herself trapped on Beast Island rushed out of her now. Her body trembled from sobbing and it was getting physically painful, but she couldn’t stop. Every significant moment with Hordak flashed in her mind, one more intimate than the next. But he’d been indifferent to every second with her and when he’d exhausted her resources, he had cast her away without any misgivings.

She didn’t regret making him new armor or inscribing his crystal with her true feelings. In spite of everything, she did think that he deserved it, even if he didn’t think her worthy of further attention. She still loved him and though he’d sent her to her death, she just couldn’t hate him.

Slowly, her sobs died down as she began to accept the truth: she’d been used again, like the princesses had used her, and then discarded. The only thing she was worth to others was whatever she could do for them. She had to let any illusion of anything else die and do her own thing.

She was still Entrapta, comfortable in her own presence and always intrigued by new discoveries. Hell, she was probably inside the biggest discovery of all! She would live for herself and she was going to start by uncovering Beast Island’s secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your wonderful comments on the last chapter! They mean the world to me, especially when I use situations from my own life.
> 
> Let me know whether or not I managed to capture Entrapta's personality in this chapter! Feedback is always welcome.


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